Why can't the time slow down when I am with you,
why can't it go fast when I am without you
why can't it go fast when I am without you
*****
Merry Christmas my baby
You probably had some of your new and old friends! Calling you and saying this sentence to you, but since you will never answer my call, because you don’t even see me as an old friend, I only can say this here. In a page that one day, you will read it.
Every second of my days are passing this the thought of what you are doing at the moment, what you are eating, what movie you are watching, who you are spending your time with, if you are smiling, if you miss me, if you care what I am doing at all or not and … thousand of unanswered questions.
Today I don’t want to complain. I know when you are reading these lines; you won’t care what I am going through, how much I miss you and what I really would die to have…
I always thought we would grow old together.
I always thought we would be much happier than most people because we will have so many days to celebrate. We will have your celebration days and mine with each other.
I always thought what I would do for the Christmas day for you to make that day a happy an important day for you. But now, with each tear falling on my face, those happy days are fading away.
I will never be able to tolerate seeing you holding another woman’s hand, hugging her and kissing her… because I would never believe your heart will say:” I LOVE YOU” to someone else… but, now, with knowing this dark truth that you will have this day soon, I want to with a nice happy life for you. I want to say I am sorry that I won’t be here to see your smile one more time. I am sorry that I can not stay alive to make money for you and make your life easier. I am sorry that I can not live without you.
I found my miracle and the man of my dream when I found you. That was why I accepted to live in this world and now, without you, what reason can I have to waste more air?
Merry Christmas Andrew
For now and for all years that i won't be able to say it to you.
